The Lazy Homesteader: Biscuits

I’m not at my best in the mornings.  I need two cups of coffee and an hour or so before I’m really ready to tackle the world, at least the full-on, shoulder-into-the-waist, NFL-style tackling.  This is important to keep in mind for the rest of this post.

Like the Dowager Duchess of Grantham, my kids do not understand weekends or sleeping in.  However, they do like to have a fancier breakfast than just cereal on the weekends.  One of their favorites are fast food-type egg sandwiches, or at least the facsimile of one I can produce in our kitchen without the pink slime, or the help of a teenaged wage slave.

I use biscuits in a can for these sandwiches, due to my lack of motivation in the morning, and also because it’s very difficult to make biscuits from scratch when your children are complaining the whole time about the injustice of not having a piping hot egg sandwich shoved into their hands the moment they wake up.  That, and the fact that Daniel Tiger is not played on a 24/7 loop on PBS Kids.

This last weekend, I forgot to buy the biscuits in a can, but I had already committed to egg sandwiches.  So I decided to make biscuits from scratch.  Reading over the recipe in my befuddled, pre-coffee state, I was confused by the instructions to cut the butter into the flour with two knives.  What did that mean?  Was I supposed to have some kind of knife fight with myself?

Then I found the instructions for using the food processor and breathed a sigh of relief.  I don’t particularly enjoy using the food processor, since it’s a nightmare to clean (seriously, the blade is wicked sharp and tricky to scrub), but it was easier than having a knife fight with myself.

So I whipped up a batch of homemade biscuits (without the buttermilk, because who has buttermilk just sitting in the fridge), made a huge mess in the kitchen doing so, and served them to my hungry children.  The Preschooler took one bite and announced that she was finished.

We’re going back to biscuits in a can next weekend.

2 responses to “The Lazy Homesteader: Biscuits

  1. 1) I so completely sympathize. I can’t tell you how much meals I have worked to make only to have my children refuse to eat. I think I would eat anything my mother made at this point, including bugs, only because I’ve experienced it from the other side. 2) I have a biscuit recipe I’ll send you that uses leftover mashed potatoes. Best biscuits ever. Also makes lovely cinnamon rolls.

  2. Yes, now I completely understand why my mother stopped cooking when we all left home–after so many years of trying to feed the four of us, she was done!

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